THIS IS WHAT
THE PLAYERS SAY
Skips have their own private assessments of players' abilities but players also
have their own ideas about skips! Here are some of the printable ones - all
tongue in cheek of course.
Heaven protect
us lowly leads, twos and Directors from Skips who
1. Announce to all and sundry that they have just returned from the Nationals
and have been conned into taking this team on because they couldn't get a skip.
2, Announce
loudly (it's not their fault) “We're 4 Down!" You've usually just stepped on the
mat to play, hopefully, your best-ever bowl. You know what happens - your knees
tremble, your heart thumps - HELL we're 4 down! – and you know the rest - we're
still 4 down!
3 At the
crossover tells our team (and most of the green) “we're 3 down" and at the next
crossover conveniently forget to tell anyone that we're 4 up!
4. Bitterly
complain, "I never have any thing on the head!" These skips seem to forget that
on the previous end the opposing skip went from 6 down to 1 up with his last
bowl!
5. Spends most
of his time talking to the opposing skip while you stand like a dummy waiting
for pearls of skip wisdom.
6. Turns his
back when your bowl has hardly travelled 15 feet.
7. Is more
interested in his mate’s game about three rinks away
8. Violently
waves his bowling cloth over the top of some bowls, and shakes his head, points
to other bowls with his finger and then his chest and nods. By the time they've
indicated 6-7 bowls in either way you're in perfect mental condition to fire one
down and probably take out your own shot bowl!
9. Tells us
wisely that we need less green when we see your last bowl career through the
head on the next rink. (Funny, we would never have worked that out for
ourselves!)
10. Ditto
calling for less weight when we have just seen your bowl whistle 10 ft.past the
kitty.
P.S. If skips
think we're that dumb (see 9 and 1O) maybe they should make the game easy for us
simpletons and just tell us;
A. Which hand
B. Which track
C. How heavy
And forget the rest! |