Newsletter No 24 - March 6th 2011

I have just been told that Bruce and Wendy Mitchell's son-in-law died during the week in Brisbane.
We extend to Bruce, Wendy and their family our sincere sympathy in their loss.
I understand the funeral will be held next Wednesday.

Singles - will be played on Saturday
Pairs - will be played on Sunday morning
Triples - will be played on Sunday afternoon
 

HAWKES BAY JUNIOR MEN'S AND 1st YEAR SINGLES
HB's newest bowlers should have been on show all this weekend at Bowls Taradale but no one told the weather man.

Five of our Juniors competed in the Junior Singles on Saturday and making Post-Section play are Richard Hocking, D Roberts and B Gardner.

We also have six entrants in the Year 1 Singles - what a great testament to the health of our club. Our players are D Henderson, A Simpson, L Fitness, B Morton, A Buckley and A Frame.

Unofficially - some of these games might be played during the week ... and perhaps next Sunday ... but nothing has been decided. Keep an eye on the notice board down at the bowling club.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

At last week's committee meeting it was recognised and acknowledged the tremendous work carried out by Michael Graham, Allen Boardman and their band of volunteers to recarpet the walkways and permanent rink markers around A green. This was a huge task, which, in the greater scheme of things, will save untold hours of repeat marking that we have to do every second or third year since the greens were first put down. We, as members, thank you sincerely for a big job well done. (Craig)

Allen Boardman approached me personally during the week and wanted to add his personal thanks to those who gave time and skills so generously. He did appreciate all the effort that each person made.
 

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's how the fight started.....
 

ETIQUETTE - AT THE CLOSE OF PLAY
Bowls is a friendly game and all players should show sportsmanship and remember courtesy costs nothing. When the game is over shake hands, be friendly and congratulate the winner. All players should assist in returning mats, jacks and scoreboards at the close of play.
 

All opposition needs to be treated with respect.
However whilst respect is essential, focusing on one’s own performance is the key to success.
You have no control over how well or how poorly the opposition is going to perform.

LEAVE THEM ALONE - play your own game.
 

FROM ZERO TO 150 IN 3 SECONDS
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.

And that's how the fight started.....
 

QUESTION: During a game of pairs (2.4.2) one of the players forgot to play his 4th bowl. He walked down the other end of the rink and waited for his partner to play the last two bowls. Each team then delivered one bowl before the spare 4^th bowl was discovered. What should now happen? Can the bowl still be played or is the shot forfeited?

LAW 47.4       Failing to play
If a bowl has been played by each team before the players discover that one of them has failed to play a bowl in the proper order, that player will lose the right to play the bowl.   

If the result of an end has been agreed or the process of deciding the number of shots scored has started, a player who has failed to play a bowl will lose the right to play the bowl.
 

QUOTE
May you have
Enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human,
Enough hope to make you happy.
 

An airliner developed engine trouble and the airhostess has the job to get every one to jump with their parachutes.

All the crew and all the passengers but one have gone. He keeps stepping up to the door, and nervously stepping back.

The airhostess, wants to go too, while there is time, but can't go till all the passengers have jumped.

She says, "Look sir, I will show you exactly what to do, but just remember, when you jump, count to ten, then pull your ripcord, that will open your parachute."

So she does a textbook jump, counts to ten, pulls her ripcord, her parachute opens, and she slowly descends.

But after a while, she wonders what happened to the passenger.

She gets quite worried, after all he was her responsibility.

She looks around, but can't see him anywhere.

All of a sudden, he goes streaking past her, and all she can hear is
.F
...F
....F
......F
........F
..........F
............F

...........................FOUR