Newsletter No 28 - April 3rd 2011

THERE WILL BE NO NEWSLETTER FOR THE NEXT TWO OR THREE WEEKS

Women's Fours - Sue Brock (skip), Del Girven, Maree Turner and Lynda Boyd competed in the Women's COC Fours at Havelock North. I have heard nothing about this event other than it was won by Omarunui with Havelock North runner-up.

Men's Pairs - Our representatives in this event were Ross Hamilton (skip) and Jack Philip. Heretaunga beat Waipawa in the final.

Women's Pairs - Colleen McLaughlin (skip) and Del Girven took part in the Women's COC Pairs. They played Napier and were level, or ahead, for much of the game before going under in the last two ends. Well done - and thanks to the big band of supporters. I have not heard who won the final.

I have just heard that our two Bowls Taradale teams came 1st and 2nd in the Consolation Division. Well done, all our Junior bowlers.
1st: Barry Gardner, Dave Jones, Alan Frame, Dave Roberts, Allan Simpson
2nd: Gary deRidder, John Sowerby, Richard Hocking, Barbara Exeter, Cheryl Simpson
 

FRIENDS DAY - MARCH 30th
This day was a great advertisement for Bowls Taradale. Both our greens were full, many friends from most local clubs participated, lunch and afternoon tea were provided free, there were no entry fees and the weather was sunny. Thank you to the committee members and others who helped organise and promote this day. Thank you also to the many club members for finding friends and making them so welcome. Thank you to SEALORD for sponsoring the day and providing the lunch and personnel.
(Thanks also to the bowler who asked me to be his friend on Facebook that same morning!!!!!)

Graham Walker (Bay View) in action on Friends Day

However, be that as it may we are looking forward to you all attending and to confirm this we have put a list in the clubroom for you to put your name to. Please remember that this list is to give as an indication of numbers for catering purposes only, i.e. it does not constitute an entry for play on the day. You still need to be there " in whites" and have your name in by 12:30 to play on the day. Looking forward to seeing you there. Craig
 

WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.

For at least three minutes her friend just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

CAR BROKEN INTO
An elderly woman called 111 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.
The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.'
A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.'
He says, 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

ETIQUETTE - Always Support Your Team
Anyone can support a team that is winning
but to stand behind a team when it is down and really needs you
takes a lot of courage.

QUESTION - What should happen when it is discovered that the wrong team delivered the jack? 

Law 22    Delivering the jack
If, before a bowl has been played by each team, a player notices that the wrong team has delivered the jack, the correct team will re-start the end. If, after a bowl has been played by each team, a player notices that the wrong team has delivered the jack, play in that end should continue in that order.

QUOTE: Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

·       Just accept that, some days, you're the pigeon and, some days, you're the statue.

·       Always keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them.

·       Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker.

·       If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

·       If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

·       It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

·       Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

BOWLS HAWKE’S BAY  DISTRICT SHIELD   2010 / 2011 
The above event will be played on Saturday 9th and Sunday 10th April 2011 at the Port Ahuriri, Napier & Omarunui Bowling Clubs. 
Post Section Play at Port Ahuriri. 8.30am start Saturday; 9.00 am start Sunday. 

Section 1 at Port Ahuriri:       1 Omarunui.    2. Taradale.  3 Waipukurau.    4. Napier 
Section 2 at Napier:             1 Bay View      2. Bluff Hill    3. National Service    4. Kia Toa 
Section 3 at Omarunui:         1. Wairere.  2. Port Ahuriri.  3. Havelock Nth   4.  Heretaunga 

FORMAT OF PLAY
Play 3 rounds – no time limits.  
Winners receive 2 match points; Draws 1 match point.  
Differential  points  then  Ends  won  will  be  used  to  determine  placings  if required.  
Section winners and next best result overall will play Round Robin on Sunday 10^th at Port Ahuriri to determine the winning team. 
Games to be played out. 
Teams may be changed between rounds. 
Singles 21 shots – Pairs 18 ends – Triples (2 Bowls)18 ends – Fours 15 ends. 
Teas at Players expense.

WOMEN’S ‘CLASSIC’ FOURS
at Bowls Heretaunga
Saturday 9^th APRIL at 9.30 am (N.B. change of date)
To be played in our indoor/outdoor complex. You WILL play – whatever the weather!
First 16 teams accepted - composite teams welcome
Entry fee, $32 p. team – generous prize-money
Format – two games of Fours & two games of Pairs
Write your name on the entry sheet at the club – phone 876 6405
or email - bowlsheretaunga@xtra.co.nz

THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
At St. Peter's Ukrainian Catholic Church in Edmonton, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Frank, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Frank replied to the assembled husbands: "Well, I've always tried to treat her nice, spent lots of money on her, but best of all, I took her to the Ukraine for our 25th wedding anniversary!"

The priest, amazed, responded, "Frank, you're an amazing inspiration to all the husbands gathered here! Please tell us what you're planning for your wife on your 50th anniversary."
Frank proudly replied, "I gonna go pick her up."