Bowls Taradale Newsletter

GARDNER SHIELD - Taradale 2nd
These are the final results (for Taradale) of our two triples teams taking part in the Gardner Shield.
Tomorrow, Monday, we have a bye.
Nov 17 - Bowls Taradale played Napier - WIN, WIN
Nov 21 - Bowls Taradale played Bluff Hill - WIN, LOSS

POSITIONS TO DATE (with 1 game to go)

Taradale	8.5	+88
Omarunui	8.5	+58
Bay View	7

Colin Leathley, who looks after these results, says he has never seen such a tight finish in the six or seven years he has been doing that job.
With one game left Omarunui will play Bay View and Taradale has a bye
If Bay View wins both games they will have 9 points and will win the Napier Section - and Taradale will be second
Omarunui has to win only one game to reach 9.5 points and win the Napier Section - and Taradale will be second

Havelock North has already won the Hastings section

A WORD FROM ABOVE - re dress for Club Championships
I didn't quite get this right last time so here I go again (I missed out the "pants" section)

If you are a member of a team you should all be dressed the same
- same type of shirt
- same type of pants

WOMEN'S OPEN PAIRS
(from Bowls HB website)
After a very close final between Colleen Ferrick, Lynn Stowe Heretunga and Ngaire McKinlay, Merle McLean Omarunui the final was decided by a close measure on the last end going to the Omarunui girls.

MEN'S OPEN PAIRS
(from Bowls HB website)
There were 42 teams entered in the Men's Open Pairs and 20 of these qualified. The final is still to be played and is between Murray Glassey, Paul Selby Heretaunga v Jim Bentley, Ian Mason Heretaunga.

Happy Birthday Alex

from

all your bowling mates

Dec 4th

DRAWS - WOMEN'S FOURS, MEN'S SINGLES
The draws are out for those taking part in the following two Centre events

WOMEN'S OPEN FOURS - http://www.sportsground.co.nz/files/Site/324/0/Pdf/111123215525ZNZANZTL.pdf

MEN'S OPEN SINGLES - http://www.sportsground.co.nz/files/Site/324/0/Pdf/111125110103MBHFNGEN.pdf

LAWS TIP

QUESTION:
(a) Can a bowl be called a toucher if it comes in contact with a jack in the ditch?
(b) Do you have to mark every toucher?
(c) How long do you have to wait before a toucher can not be called a toucher?

Law 24 Jack in the Ditch
No bowl will be a toucher if it plays onto, or comes into contact with, the jack when the jack is in the ditch.

Law 25 Marking a toucher
A toucher should be marked with chalk by a member of the team that delivered the bowl or the marker as soon as it comes to rest.

If, in the opinion of either skip or opponent or the marker, a toucher comes to rest in a position in which marking it would be likely to move the bowl or alter the head, the bowl should not be marked but nominated as a toucher instead.

If, before the next delivered bowl comes to rest or, in the case of the last bowl of an end, before a period of 30 seconds that applies under law 40.1, a bowl is neither marked nor nominated, it is no longer a toucher.

WE CAN DO WITH MORE OF THIS - Thanks, Peter Turnbull
Just a bit of brag time if I may, to give credit to my team mates of John Brock as Lead and Phil Lamason as Two, me Skipping. We entered the Port Ahuriri Heart Foundation Triples last Friday and in extremely trying conditions with strong gusty winds, we actually won the event and were presented with the Reg Mudgeway Memorial Shield. The guys played extremely well and deserve full credit. The last of our three wins was secured with my final bowl of the game tipping in one of ours to give us the 2 we needed for the win. Whewwww!!!! It was a very tough game.
The Shield is going to be engraved and sent to me in due course.

THE PERFECT MATE
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing and stay home at night!"

A cynical male listener overheard and spoke up, "Lady, what you really want is a television set!"

MARKERS REQUIRED THIS COMING WEEKEND
We are hosting the H. Bay Men's Singles Champs on Sat and the finals on Sunday. We are responsible for providing markers. As of Sunday morning there were 5 names up for Sat and 3 for Sunday. We must supply 8 each day. There is a list on the board in the shed. Please give it some thought and if you feel you are competent and able to mark accurately please put your name forward.

THANKS IVY AND MICHAEL
We must also give Ivy and Michael Graham a big vote of thanks for the great effort they have put in cleaning and painting our seats around the greens. I think as a courtesy to them we should also remember that the seats are for sitting on, NOT for bowls bags, they do get very marked and scratched.

Attention Junior Bowlers
A new section draw is in the club house. Please ensure games are completed by Saturday 31st December (earlier if possible). Unfortunately a few players may end up playing someone from the last round; this should be corrected next draw.

TONG CUP
You should be giving consideration to getting a partner for the Tong Cup; this is a very prestigious junior only, hetero, 2.4.2 tournament held at Havelock North on Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 January 2012.

This tournament has not been won by this club for over six years so let's make 2012 the year to win it!

• To enter contact Jan Hickman ph 8773179 or Greg Hodges ph 8773222
• For further information contact Dave Roberts ph 8452065.

Summerset Graded Community Bowls
Will commence in the later part of January. This was outstanding fun last year. Goes over 7 Thursday twilight evenings. Grading is made on performance on the the first four evenings into sections of 4 teams. Rules are only one registered bowler allowed in team and they may not skip.

Club members are invited to get non bowling friends to make up a team with them.
More will be on the Notice Boards shortly.
Lucky Roberts organising and looks forward to some a good level of interest from the Club.

Happiness lies for those who cry,
Those who hurt, those who have searched,
And those who have tried,
For only they can appreciate the importance of people
Who have touched their lives.

ETIQUETTE TIP

STANDING ON THE HEAD
Stand at least two metres behind the bowls on the head making sure you do not kick any bowls accidentally – if so, your opposing player replaces it.

You can indicate with your foot where you want a bowl to finish but remove your foot as soon as the bowl is greened.

Stand still till the players have delivered their bowls.


Some signal with their arms Others do it with their feet	My mother told me not to point	Sacre bleu! A Welshman with Irish bowls!!!

Good friends are like stars.
You don't always see them
but you always know they are there

LADIES
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with.

MEN
Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

COACHING TIP

THE LEAD EVERYBODY WANTS
Unless you are asked by your skip to roll the jack a specified distance, endeavour to send it to a length that suits you – and continue to do so unless asked to change. If your skip gives instructions to roll it a certain length you must try to obey.

You now have the job of getting the bowl as close to the jack as possible. After an end or two you may decide to use just one side of the green, that is, forehand one way and backhand the other because the width and pace of the green will be much the same both ways. If you make that decision don’t change during that game. A lead should become machine-like. When you do it is very satisfying but you cannot maintain consistency if you chop and change from one side to the other.

If a bowl close to the jack looks in the way more often than not you will miss it. If you go inside it you will get shot, if you go around it you could get shot and if you rest it you will have at least a good second shot. And no skip will be unhappy with a good second shot.

There are other players to follow you and it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t get shot, but by staying on the hand you know you will have a better chance of getting a close bowl. There are others in your team. Your job is to get your bowls as close to the jack as possible.

JACK-UP
Peter Turnbull has volunteered to write a newsletter for the Umpires and has called it, appropriately, "Jack-Up".

It is full of all sorts of interesting and informative information and is easy to read.

It is only two pages long so if you want to read the newsletter click on each of these two images ->

INSURANCE DENIED
There was a very cautious man who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried, he never sang or prayed
And when one day he passed away, his insurance was denied
For since he never lived, they claimed he never died.

Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"

CHRISTMAS HAM TOURNAMENT
Don't forget the Xmas Ham tournament on Sun 18th Dec. The list is also on the board in the shed. Remember this is a "members only" tournament and is a good fun day. Entry fee of $6:00 payable on the day, it is mufti and a 12:30 start. Shirley Goffin has also requested some help with donations for helping with the raffles. If you can assist with grocery items or articles that could be raffled please bring them along. There is a box in the shed where they can be placed. Your help is appreciated.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so that when you die,
You're the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.

BOWLING VIDEO - THE PERFECT END

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF6QcXwnWaw&feature=relmfu

OUR NUMBERS ARE ABOUT TO PLUMMET
A real friend is one who warns you before bad things happen. This arrived during the week. Thank you dear friend.
To save the economy, John Key will announce shortly that he is ordering the Immigration Department to start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Superannuation and Health costs. Old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get back home!
I started crying when I thought of you.
Clark.

TESTING WINDSCREENS
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo - "Defrost the chicken."

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