No 16


Onekawa Collision Repairs
Onekawa Collision Repairs are amongst the top 5% in New Zealand for panel beating and automotive refinishing. Before we start work we offer comprehensive quotes, repair costs and digital photos. It is also important to know that we are an ‘all insurance company’ and fleet work approved repairer. Phone the friendly staff at Onekawa Collison Repairs and let us assist you with getting your repairs done.



Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store, less a walk than a lumber.
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chips.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a biscuit, not even a lick.
I'll want to chew only on a celery stick.
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself, as only I can:
"You can't spend a summer disguised as a man!"
I won't have hot pancakes, or fresh bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all ... and to all a good diet!

Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Bowls NZ Roadshow
Bowls NZ will be holding "Partnership & Participation" meetings at venues around the Country.
Napier is scheduled for 20th March at 7pm with the venue to be the Taradale Club.
Open to all who would like to attend.
Letter from CEO of Bowls NZ re this is on our Notice Boards
Cheryl, Joy, Irene Alex, Bryan, Gordon, Don Morrie, Dave, Denis


Win the majority of the ends you play
Jack delivery is very important
Always have two bowls in the head
Minimize errors by keeping shot losses to 2 shots
Greed - do not widen the head for the opposition
         - do not chase more shots and cause risk when holding shot
Enjoy – keep composed, show confidence, especially if you or the team are losing
Do not change a game or length that is winning

: You deliver a bowl but it doesn’t go very far – only about 10m down the green. How far does a bowl have to travel to be considered live? 

Law 27        Dead bowl
A bowl is a dead bowl if:

·         it is not a toucher and comes to rest in the ditch;

·         it is not a toucher and rebounds onto the rink after contact with the face of the bank or with the jack or a toucher in the ditch;

·         after completing its original course or after being moved as a result of play, it comes to rest at a distance of less than 14 metres, as measured in a straight line, from the centre of the mat line to the nearest point of the bowl



"So if you would a Marker be
then make it worth your while
To do the job quite capably and do it with a smile."

When a player has delivered the jack the marker should centre it then stand back and to one side, ensuring that all rink markers are visible to the players.

He should answer any specific question (from the player in possession of the rink) about the state of the head. He should not offer any additional information that has not been requested.

If you are unsure of the situation don't guess. You can offer an opinion but make sure that the player who is asking the question is made aware of this.

The marker should mark all touchers immediately they come to rest and remove chalk marks from non touchers. He should also remove all dead bowls from the rink with the players' agreement. He should also mark the position the Jack which is in the ditch.

The marker should not move any bowls until the end is complete and the players have agreed the number of shots.           

Clark, Lloyd Fay Ken Di, Colleen
Don’t  go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. 
It was here first. 
(Mark Twain)

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks...... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His left eye is still swollen, but the doctor has informed him that he is likely to see things much clearer in the future.

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