No 19


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Sunny skies and gentle breezes greeted our 16 Junior men as they embarked on this year's Championship Junior Singles. Competition was strong and there was no such thing as an easy game. By the close of Day 1 numbers had been whittled down to four. Dave Henderson was the only starter with two lives intact. The three one-lifers were Barry Gardner, Andrew Buckley and Chris Angove.

Today, Day 2, Dave lost a life to Barry and then Chris was eliminated. That left three one-lifers in the equation; Barry, Dave and Andrew. Dave subsequently beat Andrew so the final was between Barry and Dave. Although the score was one-sided in Barry's favour many of the heads were close and saving shots showed real class but Barry deserved the title of Champion. Congratulations, Barry, on becoming this year's Junior Singles Champion.

Yesterday our Women's Championship Fours team competed at Havelock North. Representing Taradale were Angela Boyd (skip), Sheryl Glock, Barbara Exeter and Marie Fenton. Regular phone calls during the day kept us informed of their progress. By mid afternoon Taradale had reached the semifinals ..... then at 4 pm we were told they were in the finals against Heretaunga. This game was so close they had to play an extra end. Unfortunately Taradale could not win that end and finished as runners-up. Well done Angela, Sheryl, Barbara and Marie.
With yesterday's close encounter still fresh in the mind Angela Boyd (skip), Sheryl Glock and Barbara Exeter had to play today in the Champion of Champions Triples at Heretaunga .... and would you believe it was the same outcome as yesterday's. Our girls got all the way to the finals and went down once again to Heretaunga. Congratulations Angela, Sheryl and Barbara for getting further than anyone else, except one. Well done, Heretaunga.
The final between Morris Williams and Jack Halka should have been played before Christmas but had to be deferred until today. In ideal weather and before a large interested group of spectators Morris took out this title 21-12. Congratulations Morris on winning this Championship.
Another final was played this morning - the men's triples. Phil Young, Ewen McLauchlan and Frank Grantham played Ernie Friedlander, Lex Parsons and Johnny Ward. This too was a great game to watch. Steady draw bowling and accurate run shots were evident for most of the game. Eventually Phil's team drew away and won 17-10. Congratulations to Phil, Ewen and Frank on a well deserved championship win.
Mini Triples held on Friday 20th January
1st    E Friedlander(s), R Hamilton, W Whyte. 3 - 18 + 31
2nd   C Nicol(s), J Budge, D Roberts. 3 - 16 + 17
3rd   M Turner(s), D Girven, A Dempsey. 3 - 15 + 15

Nominated Games
Pak N Save Tamatea Green:   M Geldard(s), M Rickards, M Fenton. 6 + 12 (Game1)
HBSB Green:   D Kaye(s), A Boardman, D Henderson. 6 + 7


Some of you will know Freida was not well on Friday.
She is now home and resting.
All your friends at Bowls Taradale wish you a speedy recovery, Freida.

Ivy June Margaret Bev Sherrill

Some people are slow learners!
Last week one of our members (who shall not be named) won the Turkey Award for putting diesel into a petrol engine.

Today the same person gave me the results of the Men's Interclub Triples .....
on pad paper  .....

Look at the heading on the pad!!!

"The Intelligent Fuel".

Who is he kidding?

Hi John, How's it all going? Just to let you know I have had the Hip replacement done, starting to get slowly around but I will be ready for next season's bowls, (look out Johnny Ward !!!!!!!!)  I just thought I would drop you a small note, bit hard to sit for long. Regards to everyone. Cheers, Clive Weir

The irate customer called the newspaper office and loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter .....
"Well, that explains why no one was at church either."



Any athlete without specific performance goals, training goals and practice goals might be going somewhere but is probably going nowhere. Aim at nothing and that is mostly what you get.

Here is an example you might like to try.
1. Drawing for position
2. Drawing to off-centre jack
3. Draw/Drive/Draw

The Game:  
Mat on the 2m mark
Sequence of play going up and down rink:

Short Jack
Draw within half metre of jack
Draw to a spot 1 m to the right of the jack
Drive right bowl

Med Jack
Draw on forehand
Draw on backhand
Drive a bowl – nominate it first

Jack on edge of ditch
Draw to within 1 mat of target

Long Jack
Drive bare jack. It must go in the ditch

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes

Now that Allen Boardman's hours have been cut it has been decided to roster a squad of volunteers to cut lawns, tidy greens, etc. If you are willing to have your name put on a working roster to do this work please give Graeme Hocking a call. Obviously the more names Graeme has the more the work is shared and the fewer the times you will be called on. Graeme's number is 8446907. Thank you.

An elderly gentleman....Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect... Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.

I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'


QUESTION: I was playing a game of bowls one day when the opposing skip said, “Watch so-and-so, he’s delivering his bowl before the other person’s bowl has stopped.” 

When does possession of the rink transfer to the other team?  

Law 35        Possession of the Rink
Possession of the rink will belong to the player or team whose bowl is being played. As soon as each bowl comes to rest, possession of the rink will transfer to the opposing player or team after allowing time for marking a toucher as soon as it comes to rest.



When you are Skip, remember that the players in your team are as anxious to win as you are, and that it is bad form to remind any of them that they have put down a bad bowl.

They know that equally well as you do - and it hurts more if you remind them of it by word, grimace or action.

All bowlers, including Skips, play bad bowls at times, and lose games, too.



Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.


Little Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, Mummy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry ...  “Giving up?”

Twenty years from now 
you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do 
than by the ones you did do. 
I was talking to the oldest Member of another club who is 92 years old.

"How do you manage to keep going at your age, Fred?" I said.

"I'm like a new born baby" said Fred.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"Look" he said "No hair, no teeth, and I think I've just wet myself!"



New Rules and Objectives - Sunday 5 Feb 2012 @ 10:00am


The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a Salvation Army volunteer made an appointment to see the lawyer in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a cent to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the Salvation Army?"

The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the Salvation Army volunteer mumbled, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind, confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken volunteer began to stammer an apology, but was cut off again.

"Thirdly," the lawyer said, "did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and the burden of supporting three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

Completely beaten, the humiliated Salvation Army volunteer said, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

And then the lawyer said, "So, if I don't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?!!"


Didn't we do well in Division 1? Especially considering we were runners-up in Div Two last year!


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