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BOWLS TARADALE
55 Wharerangi Road, Napier Phone (06)8442088

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Bowls HB

No 24 18/02/2013
Last week's sponsor was - TEAM AUTO CENTRE GREENMEADOWS - 10% discount for members
This week's sponsor is - COMPLETE PROPERTY SERVICES - Landscaping and Property Maintenance

CONCENTRATION - Margaret, Robin, Robin, Adrienne, Alan, Lyndsay

Mon	Feb 18
Tue	Feb 19
Wed	Feb 20	Twilight triples
Thu	Feb 21
Fri	Feb 22	Mini Hetero Triples
Sat	Feb 23	Men's Junior Champ. Singles Men's and Women's National Intercentre
Sun	Feb 24	Men's Junior Champ. Singles Men's and Women's National Intercentre

TALK TO YOURSELF AND USE YOUR IMAGINATION
Many bowlers talk to themselves to help their focus or concentration. It can also be used to relieve pressure and maintain that calm, relaxed, in-control state, which is so important when performing a set of skills.

PRE-SHOT ROUTINE - Position the jack in the hand, Identify the line, Visualise the delivery – line and weight, Move onto the mat.

Remember the two essential skills:

· Smooth release (rolling the bowl away on its running surface)

· Straight lines (delivering the bowl consistently down the intended line).

PLAYING SOMEONE ELSE’S BOWL
A few weeks ago I was in a game where a person played someone else’s bowl and it was a toucher. What should happen?

Law 47.2 Playing another player’s bowl
1. If a player plays another player’s bowl instead of their own, the other player’s bowl should be replaced with the player’s own bowl.
2. If the bowl which was replaced was marked or nominated as a toucher, the player’s own bowl should be marked or nominated as a toucher.

It doesn't take long for the horsemeat scandal to turn into jokes......

A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from McDonalds.
Her condition is said to be stable

Waitress in McDonalds asked if I wanted anything on my burger .....
so I had a £5 each way !

Anyone want a burger from McDonalds? yay or neigh?

A cow walks into a bar. Barman says 'why the long face?'
Cow says 'Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!'

I hear the smaller version of those McDonalds burgers make great horse d'oeuvres.


Adrian said a bee stung his foot .... but was it a bee or was it the heat?	Margaret in action last week

SPECTATORS MUST BE NEUTRAL
When watching a game spectators must always observe strict neutrality.
Advice or criticism must not be given.

Being an astronaut is a little weird.
It's the only job in the world where you get fired before you go to work

John, Lucky, Les, Alan

Great shot!!!

Karen watching Diane at work

40 YEARS MARRIED
A married couple in their early 60s were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old..

One of the very nice things about our sport is how friendly and welcoming other bowling club members are.
I was down in Christchurch last weekend and my brother invited me to play in a (Woolston Park) team with him at Diamond Harbour.
After a car trip through the Lyttelton tunnel followed by a short ferry ride over the harbour a fleet of cars picked us up and took us to the Bowling Club.
This is where we were playing - beautiful setting, lovely people.

COACHING LESSONS HAVE RECOMMENCED
with Colleen, John and John

A PLUMBER
DOESN’T KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR
TO SEE IF YOU WANT ANYTHING FIXED
NEITHER DOES A COACH

WEDNESDAYS
9.30 am start
11.00 am finish

EVERYONE IS WELCOME

To print off an entry form go to Bowls Hawkes Bay's website - or click here

Central surprises with men's singles strength, wins Challenge Trophy

Sublime singles bowls on Howick Bowling Club greens brought Challenge Trophy 2013 to a close, and earned the Central region's side the coveted cup.

It was a well deserved first-time win for a team that included a majority of relatively inexperienced, yet highly talented bowlers in the men's squad.

Can you spot some familiar faces?
Congratulations

BRITISH AIRWAYS FLIGHT 293
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and..... OH, MY GOD !'

Silence followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger yelled... 'For f*#k's sake ........ you should see the back of mine!!!'