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BOWLS TARADALE
55 Wharerangi Road, Napier Phone (06)8442088

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Bowls HB

No 31 7/04/2013
This week's sponsor is - MARK CLIFFORD DENTAL CREATIONS - 4/150 Dickens St, Napier

Mon	Apr 8
Tue	Apr 9
Wed	Apr 10
Thu	Apr 11
Fri	Apr 12	Mini hetero Triples
Sat	Apr 13	Men's C of C Pairs Women's C of C Fours
Sun	Apr 14	Men's C of C Singles Women's C of C Triples

Cherish your health.
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve,
get help.

CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS
MEN'S FOURS: Napier - postponed because of bad weather
WOMEN'S SINGLES: Napier - postponed because of bad weather

MEN'S TRIPLES: The final was played between Bowls Napier and Bay View
WOMEN'S PAIRS: The final was played between Omarunui and Heretaunga

The following people won our club championships are are eligible to represent us in the Champion of Champions events next weekend
WOMEN'S FOURS: Colleen McLaughlin (skip), Sue Brock (replacement), Paula Evans, Cheryl Simpson
WOMEN'S TRIPLES: Angela Boyd (skip), Sheryl Glock, Barbara Exeter
MEN'S SINGLES: Phil Young
MEN'S PAIRS: Dave Henderson (skip), Barry Gardner

Bowls Hawke’s Bay (BHB)
Saturday 27 April 2013. Junior Women’s C of C Singles.
Sunday 28 April 2013. Junior Women’s C of C Pairs.

Saturday 11 May 2013. Junior Men’s C of C Singles.***
Sunday 12 May 2013. Junior Men’s C of C Pairs. ***

*** Both of these tournaments were originally scheduled for 27 and 28 April but have now been re-scheduled for 11 and 12 May respectfully.

Some have their minds on their bowling
Others seem more interested in the photographer

Chicken Surprise
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise'. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation..

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'
The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'
'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck'.

ANOTHER PAIR OF EYES CAN HELP
All bowlers, irrespective of their skills level, should get their coach to look at their bowling action at least once or twice a year.

It is common for small faults to creep into your technique and thus reduce the percentage of successful shots.

Good coaches will not apply major surgery but will help you to get rid of the problem.

You will generally find the winner of a game is the one who does the basics best.

QUESTION: What should happen when it is discovered that the wrong team delivered the jack?

Law 22 Delivering the jack
If, before a bowl has been played by each team, a player notices that the wrong team has delivered the jack, the correct team will re-start the end.

If, after a bowl has been played by each team, a player notices that the wrong team has delivered the jack, play in that end should continue in that order.

After the first player to play has delivered the first bowl, no-one has the right to challenge the legality of the original position of the jack.

ETIQUETTE - DECIDE BEFORE MOVING BOWLS
Bowls should not be moved until the shot(s) has been decided.
Remember the loser must concede the shot(s)
and both loser and winner agree.

CHRIS WINS ..... TWICE NAPIER - Last Sunday Chris Angove and Dave Roberts won the Bowls Napier 2.4.2 tournament - well done to both Chris and Dave. WAIPUKURAU - On Monday Chris repeated the win in the New World sponsored Triples tournament at Waipukurau. Chris played with Del Girven and Olive de Ridder and together they won all four games. Well done Del, Olive and Chris.
	Denis and Les propping up the scoreboard or is the scoreboard propping up them?

WEDNESDAY HOUSEKEEPING
Last Wednesday morning Barb Hexita (not her real name - I would never divulge that) asked if I knew of anyone who had found her "measure". Perhaps I could mention it in the next newsletter.

One hour later, while looking under her bed (as all housewives do on Wednesdays) she found the elusive measure. So there you have it - the benefits of regular housekeeping are many and varied.

THREE LASSIES AT BAR
I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls with an overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"

One of them screeched, "It's WALES , you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"
And...that's the last thing I remember....

TOURNAMENT NOTIFICATIONS
Princess Alexandra Two Bowl Triples run by our very own club. 4th and 5th of May 2013. Excellent prize money. Entries close 15th April 2013. Get your entry in before it’s too late. Limited to first 64 teams and entries are rolling in. See notice board for entry form.

Havelock North Bowling Club, Lion Brewery Hetero 2 X 4 X 2 Friday 19th April 2013. Start 9.00am $20.00 per team. Whites/Club Colours. 4 Games of 1 hour 30 minute duration. Entries close 16 April or first 32 paid entries.

FROM YOUR COMMITTEE
SMOKERS
The club greens are a no-smoking area. However, in the event a smoker has an extreme desire to have a cigarette please either smoke outside the greens or in the designated area against the western fence on Pak N’ Save green. Your co-operation in this matter is appreciated.

SPONSORSHIP
If any club member is seeking sponsorship for a team from any business/entity will you please advise our Sponsorship co-ordinator Peter Turnbull or any committee member. This will enable the club to keep track of our sponsors and avoid numerous requests to any one sponsor. Likewise, our club logo cannot be used without consent/notification to the club. Again thank you for your co-operation in this matter.

KEYS LEFT IN THE IGNITION - CAR STOLEN
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right.

The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen." There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kiddin' me", he barked, "I dropped you off"!!!!!!!

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop I didn't steal your car."